Creativity and Fear

9 Jan
found on

found on

I admire artists. I have always admired them. Their independent spirit, incredible imagination, their lust for creation of something new and unknown… I used to tell myself that I could never be one of them. I could never create something that would be called ART. I considered myself a normal regular person with no talent. Art is not for me, I don’t know how to write or draw, nor do I know how to sing or dance, I told myself. But of course this was back when I was a kid and I knew little about life and its obstacles. It was many years later that I found my inner voice that wanted to say something.  And it was that time when I started to fight my fear of writing.

During my school years I hated writing. I hated all the assignments concerning writing some words on my own. To create some short story or an essay one page long? No way. It scared me. I would just sit in my room for hours with blank page in front of me, not knowing how to begin. I was stuck and everything that I created sounded pathetic, boring or rather basic. I had this big fear inside telling me how awkward I am. But it wasn’t that. I was not awkward or pathetic. It was the inner block that was making me crazy. All those words I wanted to say, the freedom I wanted to get by writing were lost in me. I didn’t realize it until last year. All this time I was only afraid of being criticized by teachers or other people. But who cares! Yes! This was what I should tell myself that time. Who cares? Well I don’t. Not anymore.

I am currently reading Elisabeth Gilbert’s book “Big Magic”. I love her books. I love her writing style and her devotion for literature. She encourages her readers not to give up their passion for art of any kind. If you love writing, write. If you love painting, paint. If you love dancing, dance and never give up your devotion for something that fulfills you with joy and happiness. You can start at any age. It is never too late.

My mother had stable job for 32 years and she never spent her free time doing something that you can call art or creating. She spent all her free time with family. Not that I was complaining. After 32 years she quit her job and started to sell photo albums which she created herself. She opened her own travel agency and she is finally doing something that makes her happy.

I don’t want to quit my job and I know that I will not become famous writer or anything, but I want to write for the pure joy of it. The feeling when you create a story and give life to characters that gives me energy.

Mrs. Gilbert’s book motivated me to not give up and to continue to work on my writing. It really doesn’t matter that my first essays were not that good. Actually they were pretty bad. But we can never get better and stronger without some falls. Believe me. I have been there. Hundreds and hundreds of essays that I cried over. Thousands of school assignments got me to the floor.

Where am I coming with all this? Writers are able to create something which can be real or unreal. They can create whole new world with no borders. They can create pure characters which are hardly possible to find nowadays. To be a writer with this kind of power, that’s a dream come true.

7 Responses to “Creativity and Fear”

  1. thehiddenprestige January 12, 2016 at 6:14 pm #

    Best of luck with your writing!

  2. Glynis Jolly February 2, 2016 at 2:07 pm #

    I’m so glad I stopped by and read this post. Somehow knowing that I’m not the only one who has experienced this fear helps tremendously.

    I didn’t have the fear when I was in school. I have it now. I’m acutely aware that it’s from lack of self-confidence, but that doesn’t help lessen it, as I’m sure you know. Yet, I keep plodding along, in the hours I have to myself, writing stories and essays I may go back to and polish for publication some day.

    • artisticsmash February 2, 2016 at 2:16 pm #

      Thanks for stopping by 😊 I am glad you like it. I absolutely know what you are talking about 😄. Wish you best of luck with your writing and hope you will overcome your fear. It is the best feeling when you create your piece of art. Even it will be just a littke something. It will be forever yours 😊

  3. vincentcarlos March 6, 2016 at 4:45 am #

    I love to hear people mention books that have impacted their life so I’ll definitely give “Big Magic” a look at, great post:)

    • artisticsmash March 6, 2016 at 7:46 am #

      Thanks a lot 🙂

      • vincentcarlos March 6, 2016 at 9:08 am #

        No problem:)

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